This is what we wear on the reg … yes most of it’s rude and no we don’t give a shit. Apols for it not being super organised but we did actually Polyvore this for you so we have done something to warrant taking up 10 minutes of your time. We have wardrobes of the capsule kind, none of this is fabricated, this is what we actually wear. Look at the pretty pictures and read our commentary. Those of you who hang with us will know which set belongs to who.

Tartan Skirt: Old school cool kinda makes us feel like we’re at school, only thing is teaming it with t bars and knee high white socks would make us look like I’m dressing up as a slut or I’ve been kept down 8 years. Jury is out on whether or not this is socially acceptable.

Leather Jacket: Necessary staple for both winter and summer, cropped and uncropped. 

Leather Connies and Puma hi-tops: make us literally vom practicality.

Singlets & T Shirts: The only tops I own really, standard going out get up is ridiculous wedges, high waisted jeans and a t-shirt or singlet. Going out tops with unnecessary embellishments are gay. PSA for those who live under a rock Bassike tees shit alllllll over the competition people, for reals.

Flares: A fan from way back. Em and I love a ridiculous flare, We favour MiH (both light blue and navy) or J Brand “The Doll” highwaisted ones (PSA: wayyy better than the Lovestory)

Over The Knee Boots: MUST HAVE go with everything and negate too-short-skirt-shame.

Ankle Boots: Another necessity.

Punky Ridic Harems: Look sick with a pair of wedges and scream ‘TUDE’ (abbrev for attitude which we all know we have plenty of). For a casual option go for Bassike poo catchers, ridic comfy for long-haul flights and partic useful for pissing your boyfriend off when he just wants you to look like sex on a stick and you’re refusing to do anything he says.

Denim Shorts: We to refer to these as our denim undies. We both like to wear Ksubi denim undies pretty much all the time during summer. They are best when they’re 6 years old, have holes around the bum pockets which majorly ups the rudeness factor. How else will you scare all the hipsters when you’re strolling along Regents Canal?

Leather Hot Pants: Rude and versatile for both seasons like the denim. 

Colours: we don’t really do colour. If we’re feeling spontaneous we’ll throw in a bit of red, yellow or blue usually in the form of leather gloves. Otherwise we stick with navy, black, khaki, grey, whites and creams.  

Blankies: It is our opinion that life is wayyyyy easier to deal with when you’re wrapped in a blanky they protect you from both the cold and assholes alike. 

Flannos: at the moment we are wearing girls flannos which displeases us greatly. We much prefer wearing the flanno of a worthy male.

Navy Pea Coat from the kids section at Petit Bateau … kids clothes are actually quite cool and wayyyyy more wallet friendly than adult ones. 

Socks: usually pale grey worn with an array of slutty shoes.

Vintage ivory fishermans jumper: A tad hipster-ish. Again, you can combat stereotype status with a bit of slut-shoe factor.

Zara black leather dress: because it feels sex, obvs.

YSL Tribute platforms: Both the sandal and boot varieties, because they are the ULTIMATE in slut shoe heaven, the ULTIMATE. It’s like wearing Surfers’ Paradise on your feet.

Faster by Mark Fast leggings: Porno legwear to the extreme. Combat the bum-show factor with either a. Bassike jersey dress or b. Asos dip back long sleeved tee.

Persol sunglasses: Make a nice change from Wayfarers and they have that cool nose thingy that’s in at the moment.

MEOW MEOW X