Em and Sid

We’re going to be posting regularly again soon, we’re just improving our blog and doing...

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 16:03:49 -0400

We’re going to be posting regularly again soon, we’re just improving our blog and doing other shit right now.

Go to www.facebook.com/emandsid if you want regular updates in the mean time

X meow

Olivier Zahm totally knows where it’s at. Avo + lemon...

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 07:12:00 -0400

Olivier Zahm totally knows where it’s at. Avo + lemon juice + salt + pepper = breakfast of champions. Eat it on the reg if you know what’s good for you.

So Elizabeth Taylor has now joined Micheal Jackson and the other...

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 17:03:55 -0400

So Elizabeth Taylor has now joined Micheal Jackson and the other legends in the sky … sad face.

We have alot of respect for a woman who can accumulate that many diamonds in one lifetime, rock a pair of statement brows and leave as many men weeping in her path as she did.

Everyone wear your diamonds tonight/tomozzles … whatevs out of some restepper for the woman who wore bling well, even if it was inappropriate. You should wear diamonds everyday anyway, even if they are teeny (black diamonds in stacking rings for Em) or big (a fuck off multi stone ring for Sid). You will feel spesh on the reg … FACT.

Taylor you were the fucking business.

This is what we wear on the reg … yes most of it’s...

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 17:07:00 -0400

This is what we wear on the reg … yes most of it’s rude and no we don’t give a shit. Apols for it not being super organised but we did actually Polyvore this for you so we have done something to warrant taking up 10 minutes of your time. We have wardrobes of the capsule kind, none of this is fabricated, this is what we actually wear. Look at the pretty pictures and read our commentary. Those of you who hang with us will know which set belongs to who.

Tartan Skirt: Old school cool kinda makes us feel like we’re at school, only thing is teaming it with t bars and knee high white socks would make us look like I’m dressing up as a slut or I’ve been kept down 8 years. Jury is out on whether or not this is socially acceptable.

Leather Jacket: Necessary staple for both winter and summer, cropped and uncropped.

Leather Connies and Puma hi-tops: make us literally vom practicality.

Singlets & T Shirts: The only tops I own really, standard going out get up is ridiculous wedges, high waisted jeans and a t-shirt or singlet. Going out tops with unnecessary embellishments are gay. PSA for those who live under a rock Bassike tees shit alllllll over the competition people, for reals.

Flares: A fan from way back. Em and I love a ridiculous flare, We favour MiH (both light blue and navy) or J Brand “The Doll” highwaisted ones (PSA: wayyy better than the Lovestory)

Over The Knee Boots: MUST HAVE go with everything and negate too-short-skirt-shame.

Ankle Boots: Another necessity.

Punky Ridic Harems: Look sick with a pair of wedges and scream ‘TUDE’ (abbrev for attitude which we all know we have plenty of). For a casual option go for Bassike poo catchers, ridic comfy for long-haul flights and partic useful for pissing your boyfriend off when he just wants you to look like sex on a stick and you’re refusing to do anything he says.

Denim Shorts: We to refer to these as our denim undies. We both like to wear Ksubi denim undies pretty much all the time during summer. They are best when they’re 6 years old, have holes around the bum pockets which majorly ups the rudeness factor. How else will you scare all the hipsters when you’re strolling along Regents Canal?

Leather Hot Pants: Rude and versatile for both seasons like the denim.

Colours: we don’t really do colour. If we’re feeling spontaneous we’ll throw in a bit of red, yellow or blue usually in the form of leather gloves. Otherwise we stick with navy, black, khaki, grey, whites and creams.

Blankies: It is our opinion that life is wayyyyy easier to deal with when you’re wrapped in a blanky they protect you from both the cold and assholes alike.

Flannos: at the moment we are wearing girls flannos which displeases us greatly. We much prefer wearing the flanno of a worthy male.

Navy Pea Coat from the kids section at Petit Bateau … kids clothes are actually quite cool and wayyyyy more wallet friendly than adult ones.

Socks: usually pale grey worn with an array of slutty shoes.

Vintage ivory fishermans jumper: A tad hipster-ish. Again, you can combat stereotype status with a bit of slut-shoe factor.

Zara black leather dress: because it feels sex, obvs.

YSL Tribute platforms: Both the sandal and boot varieties, because they are the ULTIMATE in slut shoe heaven, the ULTIMATE. It’s like wearing Surfers’ Paradise on your feet.

Faster by Mark Fast leggings: Porno legwear to the extreme. Combat the bum-show factor with either a. Bassike jersey dress or b. Asos dip back long sleeved tee.

Persol sunglasses: Make a nice change from Wayfarers and they have that cool nose thingy that’s in at the moment.

MEOW MEOW X

This is a Euro PSA … The Flight Facil are touring tres...

Sun, 13 Mar 2011 09:30:28 -0400

This is a Euro PSA …

The Flight Facil are touring tres soon. The Face RSVP is here

Find your country and save the date(s)

Good times, good times for sure

(We have just realised this is our 100th post, Flight Facil we hope you feel tres spesh)

Sal: That fat girl really doesn’t need to be eating that ice cream. Sid: DUDE she is...

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 08:35:45 -0500

Sal: That fat girl really doesn’t need to be eating that ice cream.

Sid: DUDE she is fucking pregnant. But yes she is quite wide.

Latest music obsesh is Weatherhouse These guys have pretty much...

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 13:17:00 -0500

Latest music obsesh is Weatherhouse

These guys have pretty much made a new sub genre called calo disco, as in calo italo, as in italo disco from California.

Cometius is the second single from their new album E Pluribus Calo Disco. This track is dreamy sex, listen to the lyrics … meow to the tits.

Urisation, a necessary part of daily life. Most refer to this is...

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:59:00 -0500

Urisation, a necessary part of daily life. Most refer to this is MOISTuristation but in our opinion the word moist is so effing vom-inducing we would prefer to use the term urisation.

There are many ways to improve the urisation experience.

For starters, one bottle of body uriser just doesn’t cut it. You need multiple urisers people.

This is our list of urisers that will make your life better:

Johnson’s Baby Lotion: Because it’s ridic cheap, comes in a cute pink bottle which looks retro cool on your dresser and it makes you smell like baby. Babies have a certain smell which causes people to go all mushy, and this is for good reason. It makes people not want to hurt them. So if you use this people will be nice to you.

Vitamin E Oil … this is urisation for dummies but people often forget to buy this stuff. Put it on your hands and feet before bed. The bottle says it can be taken internally … what? Haven’t tried so cannot recommend but maybe we’ll take a walk on the wildside soon and do this.

Vitamin D tablets: Proven to make you happier, make your bones stronger and if you stick to a regime of Vitamin D everyday you will notice an improvement in the softness of your skin. This means that males you can urise and nobody need know. Clandestine urisation … it’s the cool thing to do.

La Source hand cream from Crabtree and Evelyn. This is mid-range … aka recession friendly luxury. This hand cream is BOSS!!! The packaging is totes old-school granny style class and it smells divine, but not too divine (mid-range, remembs) Plus it sinks into your skin in a nanosecond (again, non-scientific fact) so it doesn’t get annoying and sticky.

Dr Hauschka hand cream sits on par with La Source – it’s is also the shit but hard to find so if you do own some you can safely feel superior.

Dermol 500 – Sid’s favourite recommended by dermatologists. Nothing nasty, paraben free and doubles up as a cleanser. This is extra cool because the bottle looks like totally medical and official, so people take you seriously when you use this. Perfect for the no fuss minimal cosmetic needing woman.

QV 30+ Face Cream – Sid’s alternative to Dermol 500 for the summer months. It has 30+ in it so it totally sticks it to the man. It’s not cool to end up looking like sun damaged leather handbag people so welcome some SPF into your life. Only available in Australia, not to worry – London doesn’t really benefit from any sort of summer, God if you can pencil rectifying this into your schedule it would be awesome, cheers.

Clarins Beauty Flash balm. Once you use this it becomes a totally necessary part of your daily regime. You’re meant to use it a primer over facial moisturiser but screw that. It has plant extracts people, plant extracts … and you know what that means … chemicals that make your skin unnaturally awesome. This is what happens, we get given this shit for free (yes, we got the hook ups in all things beauty related) and then we have to repurchase … we swear it’s a conspiracy theory.

Urisation … get involved.

EM: IT'S MY IDEA SO I TAKE 20 PERCENT

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 16:52:12 -0500

EM: IT'S MY IDEA SO I TAKE 20 PERCENT
X: OK 50/50
EM: WOW YOU'RE AN AWESOME BUSINESSWOMAN

2011 ABBREVIATIONS UPDATE: PARTIC, FOR PARTICULARLY (OBVS)....

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:12:38 -0500

2011 ABBREVIATIONS UPDATE:

PARTIC, FOR PARTICULARLY (OBVS). CREDIT MUST GO TO MR G. MORGAN FOR SLIPPING THIS INTO A CONVERSATION WITH EM … IN THE CONTEXT OF ‘NOTHING IN PARTIC’.

LITCH, FOR LITERALLY. IMPORTANT TO NOTE, SENTENCE STRUCTURE CHANGES SLIGHTLY WHEN USING LITCH. YOU CAN’T SAY ‘I LITCH DID THIS’ … THAT JUST SOUNDS WEIRD … YOU HAVE TO SAY ‘I DID THIS … LITCH’.

RIDONK. THIS IS THE SUPERLATIVE OF RIDIC. LIKE IF YOU REALLY, REALLY MEAN IT. AS IN WHEN YOU TELL YOUR BEST FRIEND THAT HER ASS LOOKS RIDONK SEX IN HER NEW JEANS, THAT’S HOW YOU USE IT.

BIS, MEOW, X

DO YOU LIKE OUR NEW CURSOR? IT’S ANNOYING ISN’T IT? HAHA

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:01:03 -0500

DO YOU LIKE OUR NEW CURSOR? IT’S ANNOYING ISN’T IT? HAHA

So, we’ve had some feedback that we come across as...

Fri, 11 Feb 2011 09:34:00 -0500

So, we’ve had some feedback that we come across as man-haters/man-eaters. We’re not, we just don’t really give a fuck as much as most ‘normal’ girls. Don’t get us wrong, if you’re cunty we’ll turn on you faster than a racehorse with colic, but to put the accusations and speculations to rest; here is our list of things males do that make us weak at the knees…

When they drink tea. This is so ridic cute. Especially when they drink tea in times of neg to help solve the sitch in question.

When they smoke, a smoking male is so effing smokin’ even if they are destroying their health and discolouring their teeth.

When they let you wear their hoodies, flannos, t-shirts, beanies … whatever. What’s yours is ours, remember this.

When they open doors for you. This is manhood 101 but still charming nonetheless.

When they aren’t afraid to give their mates a hug in times of neg. This does not make them gay, it makes them human.

When they send you the links to the clothes they want to buy online to get your opinion, so cute.

When they love their mum and/or dad, whatever the familial sitch may be.

When they pick you up in a firemans lift spontaneously, this is also kind of scary slash annoying, timing is everything.

When they read a book. This puts to rest our suspicions that all males are stupid. People who read decent books are generally capable of intelligent conversation. Important to note; ‘The A Game’ does not constitute decent literature. We’ve read this shit, we know the tricks, don’t even bother, we’re one step ahead.

When they walk slow for you because you’re in obscenely high heels.

When they drink scotch, on the rocks or straight. This is badass, old school and sex all at once.

When they reformat your computer … there is nothing sexier.

When they check that the locks on your front door are working properly because your neighbourhood has a crime rate akin to Baghdad.

When they don’t neg when you’ve been chilling with another dude. It is normal to have friends of both sexes, if girls were only friends with girls we’d all be psychotic so you should be thankful.

When they change gears. Everyone knows that real men drive big fuck off tanks of manual cars (have we mentioned we’re Australian) and sitting beside a dude when he changes gears on the freeway is kinda sex hot.

When they get so excited about what they have bought you for your birthday that they end up telling you way before said date, the smile, excitement and how fucking proud they are of doing so well is always better than the gift.

When they are shaking when they hug you because they’re nervous.

When they agree with you about something trivial, even though you both know you’re wrong (very fucking rare) … pick your battles.

Please take note of the following:
Nothing on this list involves spending copious amounts of cash
Nothing on this list actually requires much effort
AND
This is a pretty long list …

Hence…

Em and Sid are not man-haters nor man-eaters … FACT.

We would also like to point out that what we have just revealed is pure gold and applies to most women. Males you may never ever get the chance to be spoonfed these ludicrously easy step-by-step swoon making instructions ever again, we suggest you copy and paste this shit into your desktop stickies.

We have chosen to decorate this post with a pic of the Franc because we are 100% certain that he would do all this stuff, because he is literally the most divine thing on the planet, look how effing ridic-sauce he looks eating breakfast.

meow x

blogs are the new reality tv. 5 years ago nothing made your down...

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 15:19:00 -0500

blogs are the new reality tv. 5 years ago nothing made your down time more enjoyable than discovering that mtv had produced a spin-off of the spin-off of some lame show documenting teen lives in a coastal community where the grass looks like astroturf and people’s teeth are so white they actually look radioactive.

so, our gift to you is our round up of our favourite blogs, yes they’re all australian, that’s how we roll.

lucy vs the globe: this girl is ridic amounts of hilar. perfectly constructed brain dribble for those whose minds operate on a higher plane than most. if you read this blog you will laugh … daily … multiple times daily.

yimmy-yayo: once upon a time this blog was one of the internets best kept secrets, now it’s globally recognised as the go-to site for artistically seedy visual reference. not safe for most workplaces but definitely worth a weekly check.

brotherly love: beautiful images from an absolute sweetheart of a man. the perfect depiction of the lives of queensland’s youth.

jess hart’s blog: aside from the fact that you want to neck yourself due to the her sheer babe-ness, and also pry your two front teeth apart with a fork so you can be just like her, jess hart’s blog is so good for style inspiration.

new odor: photographic blog from brisbane photographer chih-han hsu. insightful interviews with photographers from the point of view of a fellow photographer. this guy knows his shit and luckily he likes to share it with the rest of the world. his own site is also worth a look too, for scantily clad brisbane it girls and other ridic snaps.

we have noticed that many of you are using safari, internet explorer and at least one of you is...

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 09:22:25 -0500

we have noticed that many of you are using safari, internet explorer and at least one of you is using opera … gayyyyyyyyyy!

we cannot bear the thought of you trying to battle the internet with these beyond shite browsers any longer.

for god’s sake go here:

http://www.google.com/chrome

… and download a decent browser

Welcome to the Em and Sid In & Out update for the first...

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 11:49:00 -0500

Welcome to the Em and Sid In & Out update for the first quarter of 2011:

Fashion

In: Keeping your flesh covered. Flesh is beyond disgusting. The only acceptable showing of the flesh in icy London weather is your clavicles, a small area of thigh if you are wearing long socks and a short skirt or shorts, your ankles if you are wearing cropped pant and your upper back. Only one, we repeat only one of these at any one time
Out: Getting your tits/bum/tits and bum out in the cold. Its winter girls – stop pretending it’s not. Baring the bod in arctic conditions is try-hard and HUMIL

In: Navy
Out: Brown, any kind of brown

In: Having your own sense of style
Out: Being a clone of your friends

In: The original supermodels with tits and an arse
Out: 13 year old ‘daughters of’ who haven’t hit puberty yet

In: Clashing colours eg red lipstick with a pink dress
Out: Dressing like you’ve just got your colours ‘done’ at Laura Ashley

In: Statement high-quality accessories
Out: Cheap necklaces et al that managed to get their lucky escape from H&M on your credit card. This is clutter, it is not necessary and you will wonder why the fuck you bought it in the first place after 5 minutes

In: Normal sized handbags
Out: Handbags that are so big they could fit a Bedouin tribe inside them

In: Leather.
Out: Lace, this trend is so so over, ugh

Life

In: Manners & reserved behaviour ie. Knocking then entering, please and thank yous (yes we can’t believe we have to detail this either but some people are just fucking rude
Out: Wanton yelling and tourettes-like outbursts (unless you actually do have tourettes, this cannot be helped and we do understand)

In: Getting shit people out of your life
Out: Giving too many last chances

In: Being revoltingly organised
Out: Living a shambled life

In: Being happily single
Out: Going out just to meet men

In: Nutrition
Out: Consuming only 2 out of the 5 food groups

In: Alcohol free Monday to Friday, most weeks. It’s impossible to do this every week … we’re not insane
Out: Living in a drunken stupor

In: Banning everything you are unable to do in moderation (for us this is chocolate)
Out: Being an over indulgent mess

In: A smoke free bedroom
Out: Letting cigarette smoke permeate every atom of your existence

Friends, Relationships & Dating

In: Tradition and chivalry
Out: Making your date split the bill at dinner. Some boys actually don’t feel embarrassed to do this. We put these males into the raised by wolves category. And for the record, when we offer to pay half, you’re not supposed to accept … we only do this to be polite (see earlier point about manners)

In: Keeping shit to yourself
Out: Oversharing and breaking down into a blubbering mess

In: Waiting for the right person
Out: Dating a diet coke version of the person you really want, this is so beyond humil

this is … sex in a song … swoon x

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:18:35 -0500

this is … sex in a song … swoon x

there comes a time in every girls life when she ponders the...

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 16:37:00 -0500

there comes a time in every girls life when she ponders the merits of a sugar daddy … given that gail sorronda has just produced the most ridic collection ever that time has come for me (em).

i like, really really need this shit … it’s fucking epic! and it’s not like i just want one thing i want the whole effing lot. the severity of my need for those flared black pants is acute and i think i would look kooky and mysterious wearing that weird hat too. and if i did have a sugar daddy i would probably need that tulle and sequin confection of a cocktail dress to wear to posh restaurants.

i have never had a perfectly tailored black jacket with cuffs, so that in itself justifies that piece and if i had the white layered shirtdress then i could dress up as the creepy girl from the ring next halloween.

need.

this.

shit.

ridic underwear alert: newcomer nichole de carle is our...

Thu, 13 Jan 2011 08:45:00 -0500

ridic underwear alert:

newcomer nichole de carle is our prediction to be the most hyped underwear designer of 2011. she has already collaborated with net-a-porter, riva and gucci and has a burgeoning fan base in the uk and abroad.

what’s more, she has an online store.

our pick is the last testament brief with braces … only ok if you have gravity defying tits.

on the reg = regularly (in case you can’t figure it...

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 16:19:00 -0500

on the reg = regularly (in case you can’t figure it out)

now, we don’t want to start any blog finger pointing, nor blog stealing credit, but we have noticed a definite increase in the online presence of on the reg.

as far as em is concerned, on the reg was invented by her 18 year old brother (said in the context of “i’m gonna hit that shit up on the reg bro” – even though I am his sister he still calls me bro, not sure if i should take this as sibling affection or an insult). this could be, and probably is, wrong.

all we are saying is on the reg is out there … it’s out there … and this makes us happy. we have an acute ability to destroy the english language, one phrase at a time.

australia is so effing talented. it has an education system that...

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 16:19:00 -0500

australia is so effing talented. it has an education system that batters us into having one of the best work ethics in the world. being drenched in sunshine for 9 months of the year makes australia a nation of happy people who often divert their positive frame of mind to fabulous creative endeavours.

our round up of australian talent to watch is:

gail sorronda, this girl does epic haute goth wear. it’s worth the crazy price tags. em cherishes her feathered sequinned necklace and pom-pom headband (which make her look like an ostrich and frida kahlo respectively), by gail like children. her blog can be read here

modern collective, created by kai neville who makes sick surfing dvds that are as easy on the ears as on the eyes with bonus luxurious packaging for those who get excited over a nice emboss … check the blog here.

the holidays, clearly post-paradise is the aussie album of the year that everyone is wetting their pants over. broken bones is going to get thrashed until it makes your ears hurt so enjoy it now while it’s still alt.

wooden toy magazine, the meticulous design and attention to detail of this mag is amahz. creator timba smits has epic taste in reggae, confirmed after he played the music he designs to throughout a semipermanent lecture once.

flight facilities, we swear everyone has danced their asses off to crave you. these boys will be massive, you can quote us on that. they did a ridic euro tour earlier this year and hopefully will be back soon.

christine centenera, the fashion editor of harper’s bazaar australia and patron saint of fashion mad aussie girls. an obscenely stylish girl with outrageously good looks. we would kill for her wardrobe and her personal styling talent. here she is just chillin’, being superior on jak and jil.